10. Billy Ray Cyrus- Friend to friend, soul patches are frightening. It's like a little patch of fear you are able to carry around on your chin. After insisting on being on your daughter's Disney show, you condoned her pole dancing, hoochie outfit wearing, borderline CPS worthy perfomance. Sources say you recently spotted a UFO by your house. 2 out of 4 ATTB gals vote that the aliens can keep you. And p.s. Keith Urban called, he wants his look back, but keep the soul patch.
8. Mel Gibson- Manic. Unpredictable. Anti-semetic. Between your racial slurs and sexual demands, I feel like after a two minute conversation with you my brain would need re-wired, swabbed with Lysol, and repent with ten Hail Mary's.
7. Carrot Top- Give redheads a break, man. Ron Weasley can only bring them back up so much! The muscles aren't helping...we promise.
6. Janice Dickinson- Oh Earth Angel. The only reason you aren't on ANTM anymore is because Tyra is jealous. It's all true, and we all know it. It's not because you are a little nuts...nope, not one bit.
5. R. Kelly- Keep your closet, keep your remixes (we admit, it was catchy), and keep your belief in flying. I want no part in this. I will use the restroom on my own terms thankyouverymuch. ALLEGEDLY! Danielle makes a good point, you would be a great companion to the beach. Those jellyfish can be a real pain (pun intended).
4. Spencer Pratt- The flesh colored, hamster beard is so maddening it's almost irrational. But keep your chin up lad, you have a bright future of being this when you grow up. "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here"..exactly.
3. Taylor Momsen- CHILD! Slow your roll Troubled McAngsty. Life isn't that hard, especially for a rich teenager with a resume longer than R. Kelly's rap sheet (hey-ooo! ALLEGEDLY!). I hope I have 5 just like ya.
2. Doug Hutchison- "Fascinatingly crazy and creepy," said New York Times. "Mystical and hypnotizing," said Washington Post. "Hide yo kids, hide yo wife," said Antoine Dodson. Seriously, hide your kids because he will make them his wife. What did The X-Files do to you!?
1. Tom Cruise- Melisa said it perfectly, "I feel like if you look him straight in the eye you will wither emotionally." It's amazing how all of that crazy fits in one tiny little Scientologist. I miss "The Outsiders" Tom Cruise. Ladies am I right??
You have to admit that 10 out of 10 are correct. Fame, it's a crazy thing, literally. We hope you enjoyed our first celebrity related rant. You want to look away, but you can't. We understand. Is there anything you want us to rant about for you? Leave it in the comment section!